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Gaming

3-minute read

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The short version

  • Many online games let kids chat with people they don't know, even games rated for young children.
  • Every major console, and many games, has parental controls. Set them up together with your child.
  • Keep gaming in shared spaces and keep talking about who your child plays with.
  • Someone who offers gifts or wants to move the chat to another app is a warning sign.

Tips for my child's age

  • Ages 0–5: Use offline games or airplane mode on tablets and phones so young children can't connect with other players.
  • Ages 6–10: Turn chat off or limit it to approved friends, and play a new game with your child first so you know how it works.
  • Ages 11–13: Talk about why someone might offer free items or ask to move to another app, and look at the friends list together.
  • Ages 14–18: Talk about sextortion: if someone threatens to share images, your teen shouldn't pay or send more. They should tell you, and it is never their fault.

What to watch for

  • Chat with strangers. Text chat, voice chat, friend requests, and cross-play between consoles can connect your child with anyone.
  • Moving to another app. A gaming contact who asks to keep talking on a different app, especially a private one, is one of the most common warning signs.
  • Gifts and game currency. Offers of free skins, coins, or other in-game items can be used to build trust or put pressure on a child.
  • Pressure to spend or keep playing. Limited-time events and long "grinding" sessions can push kids to spend money or play late.
  • Getting around the rules. Kids sometimes use a parent's account or PIN, reset a device, or use a VPN to get past controls.

Settings to turn on

  • Create a child account and use the console's family tools: the Nintendo Switch Parental Controls app, the Xbox Family Settings app, or PlayStation Family Management.
  • Set a PIN or passcode your child doesn't know.
  • Limit chat and friend requests to friends you've approved, or turn chat off for younger kids.
  • Check cross-play and voice chat settings. Controls don't always carry over from one platform to another.
  • Require approval for purchases, remove saved cards, or use gift cards instead.
  • Set time limits, and look at the settings again every few months as your child grows.

How to talk about it

  • Ask your child to show you their favorite games, or play with them.
  • Ask open questions: Who do you play with? Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable?
  • Make family rules together: when, how long, and who with.
  • Remind them to keep personal information private and never to meet a gaming contact in person.
  • Make sure they know they can tell you anything without losing their games.

If something goes wrong

  • Stay calm and thank your child for telling you. It is never their fault.
  • Don't delete anything. Take screenshots of messages and usernames.
  • Block and report the player in the game or on the console.
  • Report threats, requests for photos, or sexual messages to the CyberTipline at CyberTipline.org and to local law enforcement.
  • See Get Help for local numbers and next steps.

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Adapted from NCMEC's Gaming Safely Playbook and Quick Start Guide, NetSmartz, Internet Matters, and Ineqe Safeguarding Group's console guides.